THANKS LAILA
i feel super good and encouraged after seeing what u've said
i believe that i can surely do better and remove away my flaws
hmm...next time when i write in here
i want to tell u that i've changed for the better
Yes, i will !!!
you must JIA YOU too !!!
Thursday, May 29, 2008
YOU ARE DOING FINE!!!
Jasmine sayang, one thing you have to learn in life is to stop wanting to please others. Just remember you are living your life so put your perspectives of who you are first before listening to the tonnes of crap everyone around you is just waiting to shoot off because they aren't happy with themselves.
All the years i've known you, you never looked down on yourself the way you did in the last post. Ok, yea, others might think you speak or sing or whatever in a childish manner, but so what, what if it is your style. And fiy, i don't think there is anything about you thats childish, ok maybe the skate-scooter thats it. (: Its good that you've found your element with the singing and stuff but you should consider concentrating on school alittle more than MS for a while longer. Its your last year and if you think you are weak at coming up with designs or even other concepts of school stuff you should work on them with the little time left. And pleease pleease pleease, remember how mad even i used to get when you were late. Considering im a very patient person, imagine how others would feel. Just remember to set the alarm right and be sure to go to sleep on time so you dont face problems like not being able to wake up.
From the sounds of it, your friends aren't really that supportive. Yea maybe its hard for a close friend to be straigtforward sometimes because they want to spare your feelings but if they "gang-up" (not literally siis) with others when they tell you the truth, it isn't nice. You aren't at all wrong to feel angry about the whole thing. Maybe 'A' hasn't got it clear yet that you are someone who likes honesty and if there is something bothering her/him about you, you want it to be cleared out. You should try talking to 'A' and telling her/him what you think about what has been going on lately. I know from experience it helps alot.
You can't even begin to imagine how proud i am of you from all that you have learnt and being able to spot out your flaws in a list because not many can. Remember you are already on the winning side. All you have to do is correct the list. Imagine those who know nothing, nada, about who they are, what they want, what kind of a person they happen to be , their flaws, who they want to be. They have no clue how to move forward because everything is a grey blur but in your case you have everything in front of you listen out even, so its your decision to correct who you are, or not correct who you are (because i think you are a magnificent being) and improve on yourself.You are doing great and i am totally absofuckinglutely proud of you for that. Remember that honey. Be happy with who you are and look forward to improving yourself, do not ever look down on yourself you hear me. Everyone loves you for who you are and don't ever forget that. Now get your butt of that computer chair and go do some school work. And stop it with the late nights used for MS which will not get you as far as a diploma in architecture will.
Meu amor
All the years i've known you, you never looked down on yourself the way you did in the last post. Ok, yea, others might think you speak or sing or whatever in a childish manner, but so what, what if it is your style. And fiy, i don't think there is anything about you thats childish, ok maybe the skate-scooter thats it. (: Its good that you've found your element with the singing and stuff but you should consider concentrating on school alittle more than MS for a while longer. Its your last year and if you think you are weak at coming up with designs or even other concepts of school stuff you should work on them with the little time left. And pleease pleease pleease, remember how mad even i used to get when you were late. Considering im a very patient person, imagine how others would feel. Just remember to set the alarm right and be sure to go to sleep on time so you dont face problems like not being able to wake up.
From the sounds of it, your friends aren't really that supportive. Yea maybe its hard for a close friend to be straigtforward sometimes because they want to spare your feelings but if they "gang-up" (not literally siis) with others when they tell you the truth, it isn't nice. You aren't at all wrong to feel angry about the whole thing. Maybe 'A' hasn't got it clear yet that you are someone who likes honesty and if there is something bothering her/him about you, you want it to be cleared out. You should try talking to 'A' and telling her/him what you think about what has been going on lately. I know from experience it helps alot.
You can't even begin to imagine how proud i am of you from all that you have learnt and being able to spot out your flaws in a list because not many can. Remember you are already on the winning side. All you have to do is correct the list. Imagine those who know nothing, nada, about who they are, what they want, what kind of a person they happen to be , their flaws, who they want to be. They have no clue how to move forward because everything is a grey blur but in your case you have everything in front of you listen out even, so its your decision to correct who you are, or not correct who you are (because i think you are a magnificent being) and improve on yourself.You are doing great and i am totally absofuckinglutely proud of you for that. Remember that honey. Be happy with who you are and look forward to improving yourself, do not ever look down on yourself you hear me. Everyone loves you for who you are and don't ever forget that. Now get your butt of that computer chair and go do some school work. And stop it with the late nights used for MS which will not get you as far as a diploma in architecture will.
Meu amor
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Life is truly meaningless
29 may
hmm...i tot of writing in my own blog.
but i think some things i cant really post in my own blog
coz i realise that ppl love to read blog and they really read it.
the next day i will know.
so i decided to write here instead.
hmm. laila (sounds like you're now my penpal...LOL)
is it true that friends which are close
and when they found out sth that the other person has did sth wrong
they sometimes wont really tell them straight or even secretly or even when they are alone ?
this close friend of mine (A) is doing this.i'm not sure is it that she cant bear to tell me at all.
its like people who are not close to me actually tell me that there's wrong w me (eg.u always talk like a kid leh.cant u speak or sing like a 19 yrs old)
(A) knew it long ago. But, A did not tell me. When other ppl "shoot" me, den A added "ya loh, didnt i told u already". its like she's not helping me at all.
haiz.
maybe my ears are really failing. i just feel bits of anger at that moment. but i held back my emotions (controlling)
in fact, ever since i joined my music school.
i think i learnt a lot of things, realised and changed a lot.
Learnt:
-singing techniques
-coordinate body movement & interaction with audience
-make-up
-smile w camera
-dress sense
-speak clearly
-deal sw promoting
-deals w setbacks, failure
-organise events
-positive person
-learn to relax body and voice when singing
-stage performances
-handle competitions
Realised
-lots of logic about life
-change mindset abt abnormals
-understand more about myself: bad habits -talking & singing [kid's voice], naggy, weird dress sense, no style, did not filter photos before posting [more aware of other's feelings]
-understand the situation and how to solve it in a much better way
-be more attentive & sensitive about other's feelings
-be more observant
-too much stress can kill me
-postive towards critisize and everything -keep myself happy all the way
-Changes
i think i've tried my best to change from what i have "learnt".
i've not done all very well.
i'm trying hard.
i will use the never give up attitude to keep it "running".
however, i realised that
i'm too focused on ms.
i've neglected family and school work.
this is my last year.
i keep missing morning classes.
no attendence (if fall below 75%, it will affect grades)
i could not wake, slept late, sometimes home late, i think i stay at ms too long
i really dun have priorties and self-control.
i'm always late
i dun have good time management.
i'm not good at sports, i dunno how to swim !
even those leisure ones like bowling, pool, i'm also not good
i dun have nice & presentable clothes
i am not observant
my handwriting and signature not nice
i;m slow coming up w design
i seem to keep apologising to ppl
whatever things i've done is all not right.
i hate my ears(not sensitive to the music),
face (pimples),
teeth (two front teeth think needs braces)
nose (not sensitive enough)
limbs (not flexible, fast, strong)
brain (not quick-witted, process is super slow and memory is super poor)
mouth (not good at smiling & talking)
i seem to hate myself at all.
what's gg on ?
laila...................................HELP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Life is truly meaningless to me
hmm...i tot of writing in my own blog.
but i think some things i cant really post in my own blog
coz i realise that ppl love to read blog and they really read it.
the next day i will know.
so i decided to write here instead.
hmm. laila (sounds like you're now my penpal...LOL)
is it true that friends which are close
and when they found out sth that the other person has did sth wrong
they sometimes wont really tell them straight or even secretly or even when they are alone ?
this close friend of mine (A) is doing this.i'm not sure is it that she cant bear to tell me at all.
its like people who are not close to me actually tell me that there's wrong w me (eg.u always talk like a kid leh.cant u speak or sing like a 19 yrs old)
(A) knew it long ago. But, A did not tell me. When other ppl "shoot" me, den A added "ya loh, didnt i told u already". its like she's not helping me at all.
haiz.
maybe my ears are really failing. i just feel bits of anger at that moment. but i held back my emotions (controlling)
in fact, ever since i joined my music school.
i think i learnt a lot of things, realised and changed a lot.
Learnt:
-singing techniques
-coordinate body movement & interaction with audience
-make-up
-smile w camera
-dress sense
-speak clearly
-deal sw promoting
-deals w setbacks, failure
-organise events
-positive person
-learn to relax body and voice when singing
-stage performances
-handle competitions
Realised
-lots of logic about life
-change mindset abt abnormals
-understand more about myself: bad habits -talking & singing [kid's voice], naggy, weird dress sense, no style, did not filter photos before posting [more aware of other's feelings]
-understand the situation and how to solve it in a much better way
-be more attentive & sensitive about other's feelings
-be more observant
-too much stress can kill me
-postive towards critisize and everything -keep myself happy all the way
-Changes
i think i've tried my best to change from what i have "learnt".
i've not done all very well.
i'm trying hard.
i will use the never give up attitude to keep it "running".
however, i realised that
i'm too focused on ms.
i've neglected family and school work.
this is my last year.
i keep missing morning classes.
no attendence (if fall below 75%, it will affect grades)
i could not wake, slept late, sometimes home late, i think i stay at ms too long
i really dun have priorties and self-control.
i'm always late
i dun have good time management.
i'm not good at sports, i dunno how to swim !
even those leisure ones like bowling, pool, i'm also not good
i dun have nice & presentable clothes
i am not observant
my handwriting and signature not nice
i;m slow coming up w design
i seem to keep apologising to ppl
whatever things i've done is all not right.
i hate my ears(not sensitive to the music),
face (pimples),
teeth (two front teeth think needs braces)
nose (not sensitive enough)
limbs (not flexible, fast, strong)
brain (not quick-witted, process is super slow and memory is super poor)
mouth (not good at smiling & talking)
i seem to hate myself at all.
what's gg on ?
laila...................................HELP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Life is truly meaningless to me
Thursday, May 1, 2008
And here it comes
Whats up with the weird symbols in my last post? It was supposed to be nice neat and funky like i always am but i managed to screw it up once again. Ah well, its the thought that counts. Its extreeeemely hot here nowadays. Summer has started full swing and its not even June! But ofcourse i have not been able to go out and enjoy the weather because of the finals. I've cooped myself at home studying to ensure me graduating from IB for real and then i'll be heading off to America in September. How cool is that? But there is still the saving-up-to-buy-decent-clothing-so-i-don't-embarrass-myself project.Before i can carry forward with that i have to save up some money from summer jobs. Cleaning the streets, babysitting and whatever i can fit into my schedule. What i'm looking forward to most would be trainings at the beach..weeeeeeeeee. Its so much easier doing those acrobatic stuns and what not in the water compared to on a hard stone floor. Waiting for a package from Singapore. Kaiken maailman herkkuja! I have to go now though. Study study study. Wish me luck, the exams start Monday.
Tshau
Tshau
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